Fading Away...

“Want some tea?”, he called from the kitchen.

“Duh, no! I just had coffee!”, she replied disdainfully from the den.

“Oh, but she never asked me if I wanted some. Well...”, he muttered as he walked up the stairs to the snug room. Their relationship had been falling apart for the last few months, but he had been doing his best to keep it together. Strangely, he didn’t even know the cause of this deterioration, as nothing out of the ordinary had happened. Shaking his head to clear it of the dark forebodings, he entered the living room, sat his cup down on the table and walked up to his guitar. Picking up the case, he started unzipping it, wanting to sing her a song, and not just any song, mind you. He had GnR’s “November Rain” in mind, the one he had always dreamed of singing to her. However, just a glance at her frowning face was enough to make him put it down. “Maybe later”, he thought as he closed the case again, sighing just audibly as he slouched past her and settled in his comfy chair.

“So sweetheart, how was your day?”, he asked tentatively. “Did Mr. ‘Perks’ treat you well?”

“Hahaha, of course dear! He has been very nice and accommodating since I organized that soft skills workshop! He appreciated the innovative idea very much, almost too much! And the audience was so supportive”, she gushed as she recalled Open Week, the most successful in- house event of STEM n’ ROOTS, a consultancy and career counselling company they both worked for.

It was his idea, of course. All brilliant ones were his. They had planned to conduct this ‘refresher’ workshop for their respective departments simultaneously. However, his department head was a bit reluctant towards approving the event. “We’ve never had this sort of an event, and I’m afraid the department members won’t be interested. Furthermore, it’s not our job to keep them on the track.”, was what his supervisor had told him. Rather than risk postponing Open Week in both departments, he had asked her to go ahead with it in her department. Although he claimed it would serve to demonstrate the workshop’s importance to his head, but in fact, it was due to his ever-present desire to see her on top of things, and organizing a successful event for the first time would certainly take her a long way.

She had gone ahead and organized the event, forming a team on the way, but keeping him updated throughout the procedure. It proved to be a smashing hit, with the company employees turning up in throngs to attend the event. Despite the fact that it was his idea, and it was he who motivated her to manage the event, he didn’t even get an invitation. It had stung him like hell, but she claimed that since their departments didn’t have anything in common, so it would be useless for him if she asked him to come. “However, you can come if you really want to.”, had been her response.

“It doesn’t matter if it would help me or not. I’d love to come if someone cares to invite me” had been his final attempt to make her realize how much he wanted to be with her, and how much her willingness mattered to her. However, it didn’t change anything. Weekend came and went, with him back at his place, sleeping the Open Week out. No one missed him at the event. And she became a star overnight.

Now, as he sat opposite to her, he didn’t know how to ask her for the post-event report. He needed it to convince his supervisor that not only was the event worthy of being organized at STEM n’ ROOTS, it had already been organized once with very encouraging results. Mustering up his courage, he leaned forward a bit and spoke: “Hey, have you people composed a post event report? That sort of thing is really necessary, especially after a successful event”

“Uh-oh”, she nodded, her eyes glued to her laptop screen.

“Can I have it for a couple of days? I need to show it to my supervisor, to prove that Open Week isn’t a waste of time. That old man still lives in the ‘60s”, he said with a nervous chuckle, uncertain how she will respond. But as she closed her laptop’s lid and took off her glasses, he knew he had her undivided attention. Nevertheless, nothing could have prepared him for what came next.

Have you ever been in love with someone who wasn’t aware of, or at least pretended to be unaware of, how you felt towards them? Have you ever, dear reader, tried to have your actions speak of the inexplicable love you have for someone who wants to have nothing to do with you, except perhaps using your skills and connections for their own well- being? Have you, o handsome fellow, suffered the pangs of unrequited love, hoping the person in your dreams will come to realize how you feel and what you have for them is priceless, that they’ll be lucky to receive even half of that from any other human? If yes, then you might understand how our poor boy had been pushing on with his life, and what her response could’ve done to her.

As she straightened up, he looked into her eyes, hoping that, for once, she’ll acknowledge what he has done, rather, has been doing for past couple of years. He longed for a glimpse of acceptance, either in her words or her actions. However, he was stunned when she finally spoke, her every word cutting her like a knife: “Open Week was a private event of my department”.

To say that he was dumbstruck would be a gross understatement. He saw the whole world spinning before him, felt a constriction in his throat that had nothing to do with thirst. He remembered the times they had shared together, resulting in some of his fondest memories. His past two years flashed before his eyes: his attempts at expressing his feelings to her, the happiness he always experienced when he saw her, the times he had spent staring at her pictures, the thrill he used to experience whenever he heard her voice, all came crashing down in his lap, along with the elusive truth: she wanted to have nothing to do with him. He was a tool, a means of climbing the ladder of life. Maybe she really trusted him, even considered a friend, but she had never been there when he needed her. His assumptions were fading away, as were his dreams. The pedestal had crumbled, bringing the goddess he worshipped to the ground.

Wordlessly, he stood up and left. He didn’t want to, even now, but he knew it was for his own good. But he knew he would never be able to forget her; the girl who meant so much to him.

Back in the den, she looked up as she heard the front door open, and close. Her expression was unfathomable as she sighed and put the documents away. Suddenly, she spotted the cup of tea he had made earlier. Steam was still rising from it...